Good for them. I’m so sick of not being cool. I’m just going to jump ahead to the third opinion on whatever stupid internet issue that doesn’t matter comes up. That way I’m going to be way ahead of the curve and a perennial trendsetter.

So here’s my first third opinion! You ready? It’s going to be so edgy and cool you’re all going to be like, “Fuck…!” And then later when everyone on the internet starts to inevitably copy me (because I’m just jumping to the end of a cycle we’ve all seen a hundred times) you’ll be all, “Remember when WADE thought this before all of us?! What a cool man! Let’s give him some money or something. Maybe a meeting at a network. I hear all of his friends are now getting meetings at networks and he’s still a stupid fucking loser with no job who’s at least three years behind all of his “peers.” He sucks in every way, except for his awesome opinion on this issue, that is! What a cool man! His opinion is NOT the last opinion before this issue swirls down the drain for good! It’s apt and we’ll all remember it forever!”

So without further ado, the first in my long line of new third opinions:

Fuck you, South Park! Yeah whatever, remember when we all were all “Fuck MPAA, Go “Bully!” and then South Park, despite their previous grievances with the MPAA was all, “Fuck “Bully,” go enlightened us!” well now I’m all like, “Fuck South Park, go third opinions!” I’m totally right too. Who do they think they are? Yeah, let’s be anti-capitalism and shit. You fucking billionaires.

So that’s it. Everyone spread the word. See you next 3:30 AM after I’ve had a few vodkas on my new bi-weekly blog, “Hey this issue is totally stupid. Did you know North Korea JUST tested a long range missile? It failed! Good news! Yeah, I don’t care either.” By Wade Randolph